Walid: so is he black (what the hell?!?!?! he always asks this question.)
Walid: no ..then what is he?
Walid: u like him
Walid: how much
Walid: more than me?
sarah: well, i've been living with him for over a year now, and he has never crashed one of my cars. so my guess would be quite a lot.
Walid: more than me?
Walid: that breaks my heart
sarah: i'm sure you're weeping bitter, bitter tears as we speak
Walid: do u hate me though?
sarah: to be honest, i don't care enough to hate you anymore. i mean, i still think you're shit for destroying $3,000-odd dollars of my hard-earned fortune and bailing on it, but that was years and miles away.
Walid: so u like me a lil bit
SURE, YOU RETARD. I'M SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH YOUR DUMB, CAR-CRASHING ASS, EVEN THOUGH MY BOYFRIEND TREATS ME A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN YOU EVER DID.
he's actually more intelligent than he comes off. wait, no, he isn't. but he's book-smart. just people-stupid.
walid is this ugly chapter of my life that begun with illicit back-room work-time break-time sex and ended with my car flipping over the ditch and into the field. the car accident was followed by the most mutually unsatisfying, entirely fear-driven sex i'd ever want to encounter, which was then followed by my gulping down glasses of vodka, heading back to my car and lying to the police. it's actually a great story that encompasses, if i tell it right, a number of airport flings and involvements, lots of sex out-of-doors, an infatuation with sparks, yet another car accident, two lawsuits, insurance fraud, and a good two-year chunk of my life.
but maybe later. it's a long story, and i don't want to tell it if nobody wants to hear it. i could probably write a book out of it, and entitle it "the summer of the airport boys".
more hilarity from ex-airport boys:
I’m sorry the way a dealt with you. I don’t know what else to say to you at this moment. I was not very happy the way you treat me like I’m savage who don’t respect your self-respect and dignity as a woman. Because I have a respect for you and I took time off my crazy schedule to be with you. I have no intention to harm other than going for walk in downtown and go to see some film’s. You have broken my heart too many times. I just don’t want our friendship to be destroy something very stupid. I hope you will understand where I’m coming from. Also I will apologized in person.
oh, wait, that's not as funny as i thought it was. i just liked that the "broken my heart" bit was both bolded AND underlined. i guess he really meant it.
then again, he was a twenty-six-year-old virgin when i met him. i think i got him all confused about religion and sex, and things like menstruation that good muslim boys aren't even supposed to be around. naturally, he developed stalker tendencies.
up until ian my dating history is tumultuous and riddled with unhappiness.
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